Over at Simply Stated Holly Becker shows how to be giving in little ways with, How To Be A Card Sender.
Moxie Madness is giving away some of the coolest note cards ever (mix tapes!) along with some fat patches at her blog. Hurry because it all ends, March 10th.
Sandier Pastures is offering the chance to win a delicate necklace by jewelry designer Lisa Leonard Designs. Ends March 10th.
How To Clean Stuff is a neat new blog with tips on how to clean any and everything. From leather handbags to old photographs and even better, you can read cleaning tips and suggestions from readers and post your own. For every tip that gets published they donate .25¢ to the Clean Water Fund.
Chocolate and Steel is holding a lovely art ring giveaway here, ends March 13th.
ByHandmade.me has amassed a huge collection of delicious handmade items for their March giveaway. Ends March 18th.
Last week I found myself unexpectedly piling pieces of inspirational art into my cart and later that day giving a piece away. I have no real idea if it was their style, in fact I really do not think it was but the message was such a welcome one that they wanted to put it right up. These pieces by Minneapolis artist patchofsky, a part of her WORD OF THE DAY :: living life one word at a time series, make me smile deeply and think about all the gift giving possibilities. Art can be incredibly tricky to give but if you're looking to go there—making it something inspiring will up the chance of it being cherished.
Obviously I still have boudoir glam on the mind as I keep drifting back to Dolce & Gabbana's Spring 2009 offerings which showcases an ever growing trend. No, not wearing your pajama's out of doors (this deserves to die although this image by The Sartorialist blogged at A CUP Of Joe can be a mind changer)... what I'm referring to is those deliciously glamorous silk and satin pj sets. They're making a major comeback and for good reason.
We all know times are tough and can get even tougher. This can mean only one thing—we have to work harder to make our own reality a good one. Hiring someone to do it for us might be slightly out of the question. One way to do this is through upgrading certain pieces of our daily lives. Just imagine yourself reading the paper in one of these little sets edged in piping and cinched at the waist with a thick matching belt. You're instantly transported to some decadent Garbo era of luxury. The best part is these feel just as good as yoga wear or sweats. They tend to last much longer as well.
So we have a multifaceted gift here. On one hand it can be a simple gift to give yourself... a little pick me up if you will. On the other hand this can be one of those incredibly well received gifts. Many gift recipients this past Christmas had one of these sets as a deep wish on their lists. You may have to do a bit of snooping to find your beloveds size but the good thing with these pajama sets, they are cut roomy for ease of movement.
Some recommendations:
If at all possible splurge on natural silks as they provide the most breathable night sleep.
Up the anti even more with a monogram on the front pocket.
For men, if they're not into this look, try a smoking jacket or robe.
Can you toss them in the wash? Do they need to be ironed? Look into this prior to buying.
* Take a look at these swoon worthy silk pajama pants at Victoria's Secret, $98. It's a pity they do not seem to have a matching shirt to complete the set and look but they could do double duty as cool summer lounge pants.
Easley remains true to this style of jazz often called Big Band or Swing. What is refreshing is his inclusiveness of other rhythms such as Calypso while highlighting New Orleans flavored gems such as Memphis Blues. Far from falling into the same trite and anticipated phrases and chords, Easley breaks new ground in his clarinet and tenor sax solos. With backgrounds by Off Broadway Woodwind Ensemble and guest musicians, Frank Wess - tenor sax, Warren vache - trumpet, this is a well rounded and satisfying CD of the best this genre has to offer. I've heard Easley live and his CD surely lives up to his on stage performance and charm. Perfect for studio parties and soirees. Available from the artist's website at: http://www.billeaseley.net
This CD / DVD combo platter serves up the best of Toby McKeehan & his Diverse City, Portable Sounds Tour. Having seen Toby and Diverse city perform live, I'd have to say I was transported back to the concert while listening to this CD. At a press interview, Toby showed real pride in this project as it not only offers 20 excellent signature tracks but a visual treat of some of his live performances from the tour. Not bad! In fact, it is a decent sampling of Toby's body of work which includes elements of rock, hip-hop with Latin percussive and trumpet for a little interest. Toby's flow with Mandissa melts sweetly in "Lose My Soul" which has received ample air-play on radio stations coast to coast. A Christian artist yes but his show offers high energy, insane dance moves and non-stop tricks anyone can enjoy. Visit the artist's website at Toby Mac.comhttp://www.tobymac.com
Still in the Mix....
Dream Rodeo produced by Jon Gillespie - Monastic Chambers
Genre: Georgian styled chants, spiritual music
This is a sampler of various artists from many lands and cultures all performing instrumental music infused with meditative chorals. There is a wash of orchestral colors as you move from track to track. Each one takes you a little further off the map to far away continents and their respective sounds with pulsating rhythms. This is an ongoing project but this sampler is worth taking note of. Dream Rodeo is the moniker given by Jon Gillepie which stuck to this body of work but the title is being revisited. The final name will do more to reflect what has proven to be an unfolding of an inspired, expressive work. Serene, yet engaging, it is possibly the best of what original indi music aspired to be. See Jon's myspace here.
Why give once when you can give twice with these great gift finds that have the added benefit of giving back to great causes...
www.helpmalawichildren.org has partnered with designer Lori Leavitt to create a lion jewelry collection with 100% of Panthera Collection by Lori Leavitt going to H.E.L.P., to help the children of Malawai Africa. Leavitt writes that she choose the image of the lion for her collection because, ...[it is] a representative of the children and our support. It is symbolic of the courage the children in Malawi must endure on a day-to-day basis when faced with endless issues of poverty and illness. Prices range from $600 to $1,000. and up.
Converse has joined forces with (RED) and various artists to create its latest 1HUND(RED)s for Spring collection. One of these newest releases is the aboveThis Is Not A Shoe design by London artist Andrew Mania (Artist #94). Mania writes about his shoe, Clothes or sneakers are just another set of materials to play with. And the shoe can be a work of art, or something other than what it obviously is.Converse sneakers remain one of those rare gift worthy shoes--we give these major thumbs up! Like all (RED) products, a percentage of sales of these trainers benefits The Global Fund's efforts to fight AIDS in Africa. Around $60. to $78.
Monsoon Accessorize has created the Rapunzel Charity Scarf with 25% of the profits from the sale of these scarves being donated by Monsoon to the Monsoon Accessorize Trust (www.monsoontrust.org). This money will be given to SOS Children’s Villages to support a project in Asia. £18.00
In honor of Renée Fleming and the Met’s 125th anniversary season, the perfume La Voce which is filled with passion fruit and white truffle accord and transcends to a rich floral heart of jasmine and lily of the valley. Along with notes of dark chocolate mousse and ebony wood winds, has been created with all proceeds benefiting the Metropolitan Opera. $200. As seen in Star.
When you purchase the Red Flower Ocean Petal Topped Candle (which is actually turquoise instead of red as the name suggests) $1 from each candle sale will be donated to The Blue Project. $34. As seen in Star.
The Muddy Moose is selling All Natural Lavender Goats Milk Soap with 100% of net proceeds benefiting the Cora Paige Playground. $4.75.
Looking for a wedding or prom dress and a way to give back at the same time? Take a look at gowns by Dalia where a portion of the proceeds of each Dalia gown are donated to Women for Women Int., an international organization that goes into areas like the Congo and assists women who have become victims of war. Also see the designers myspace page here.
Satya Jewelry designers Satya Scainetti and Beth Torstick have teamed up with Courteney Cox and David Arquette to create the line EB Mini Butterfly collection, with 100% of the proceeds from the sale of pieces going to the Epidermolysis Bullosa Medical Research Foundation. EB is a rare skin disease effecting children and a cause close to the Arquette's heart. Pieces range from $38.00 to $48.00.
Over at Elements of Style Blog Erin covered the Hope Star Collection by designer Elizabeth Showers in Fashion Friday: Jewelry That Heals. Showers collection benefits the Elisa Project and the National Eating Disorder Association.
Last year I found and posted this video, How To Survive Valentines Day If You Are Single and it was a surprise big hit with readers. So once again, for your viewing pleasure, here is the sweet video which is bound to make you chuckle a bit.
What is the difference between having your gift of lingerie lovingly excepted and slipped on and having it tossed in the corner, or worse tossed back at you? First, have you made sure that your gift is being given at the right stage of your relationship? Once you have that squared away and you feel safe to proceed, here are my secrets to a very tricky gift to pull off (sorry but I just couldn't help that...).
What NOT To Do:
Bras or items with shelf bras built into them like camisoles or teddies are not your friend. Even when you attempt to use the size of what is already being worn by your significant other this can end in disastrous results. These items require a fitting and being tried on to find the exact size which can vary depending on designer and piece. Even worse making the mistake of buying a size too big or too small can bring about a whole host of issues for you. Why go there when you have much better options that look just as luscious?
Do not buy pieces that are created out of itchy, suffocating or flammable material(s). Keep telling yourself repeatedly, it's not about you, it's about them. Would you like to wear it? If it feels uncomfortable to you, put it down and run away.
For many of the same reasons as the bra debacle do not attempt to buy a corset. These also need to be fitted perfectly and buying the wrong size can have disastrous results. The goal is to make the person feel loved, not draw out flaws or that revelation you really do not know them at all.
Despite the glut of heart covered lingerie and the popular (for merchants) red, pink and black, think about going in another direction. Do you really want your gift to be only worn on one day (VDay)? Or do you want it to be in constant rotation?
Take a close look at the elastic. Is it exposed (meaning can you see the strip of elastic material in the band of the lingerie)? If so you may want to pass. This is usually seen in poorer quality pieces and will most likely dig into the skin, irritate it, leaves marks and be very uncomfortable to the wearer. Unfortunately H&M, Forever 21, etc., frequently have this problem but if you sift enough you might find a gem. The same can be true with itchy tags...
A dress by Libertine.
What To Look For:
Look for natural, soft fabrics such as silks and Egyptian cotton. Keep itchy lace to a minimum, instead look for silk chiffon's or marabou. If buying lace, make sure it's higher end.
Cami tops without a built in bra and in very stretchy lace have a much better potential of fitting and being worn. Also look for draw strings for cinching to the right size.
Kimono robes are incredibly hot right now along with Mandarin inspired silk jackets, find one that's beautifully unique and decorated for a gift of wearable art.
The cheat sheet: Stella McCartney, Elle Macpherson intimates, Kiki De Montparnasse and Agent Provocateur, as they're frequently on the tips of tongues and wish lists. Probably even if it was slightly off in size.
When all fails, give a gift card to a department store or Wolford and breathe a slight sigh of relief.
A silk robe by Sue.
* This of course can be discounted if you've had a specific request for a very specific item complete with exact size, etc., if so go ahead with glee but if you have all of that information, you probably would not find yourself here and reading this.
Thank you everyone who left such incredible words in your entries and it has been a wonderful gift to be able to read and visit your blogs. All throughout the coming year I look forward to paying many return visits.
Wishing you all much peace, Marie marieanakee@gmail.com
My brother has a way of always finding and giving gifts that seem odd at first but later become a must own. One of these gadgets was a Back to Basics aluminum stove top popper. First we just used it to prepare simple buttered popcorn but one day, after consuming too much pricey Dale and Thomas, I wondered if I could make something similar at home. Somewhat daunted by whispers that you need commercial equipment to create kettle corn I decided to give it a go in my little stove top pot. It worked-perfectly! Lovely caramelising with simple white sugar and fully coated lush kernels. Since then I've tweaked my recipe, based on Rachael Ray's Sweet & Salty Kettle Corn, and created at least 100 batches for our various movie nights.
This VDay I've created pink popcorn and here is how you can too:
2 Tablespoons peanut or vegetable oil 1 Tablespoon of butter 1 Tablespoon course sea salt 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract (add to cold pot) 1/2 cup Redenbacher's Gourmet Popping seeds 1/4 cup white sugar (add a few tablespoons red sugar for pink color)
Following the directions of your popper, add the oil, salt and sugar to the bottom of the pot. Add the butter to the little drip attachment. Once hot add the popcorn seeds and crank the handle until popcorn is fully popped.
Back to Basics Review: Despite using it repeatedly the popper has held up very well and shows minor wear at the bottom. This hasn't caused any problems with creating batches of popcorn. The only problem I have had was with placing the lid back on after it's been washed. If Back to Basics could fix this the popper would be perfect. Prices are all over the place on this product but Macy's and Amazon has it for $22.
(Please see update all the way at the bottom of the page) In case you're new to Gilt Groupe (gilt.com), it was founded by Alexis Maybank and Alexandra Wilson as an invite only online sample sale site that is free to join and now ships internationally. Behind those black website walls lie some incredible steals. Best of all I have a special invite for all Gave That readers (that's you!), simply sign in via this link and you too can partake.
Along with bags and apparel Gilt Groupe also frequently features high end candles, glass wear and jewelery making it perfect for budget gift shopping that only looks and feels like a splurge (be sure to visit the "gift" area daily). As for my experiences with Gilt, this has to be one of the best out of all of the sites that have popped up as of late. For one Gilt provides a shopping experience online that mimics what you would find in a high end boutique or department store. The boxes and little thank you card that ship your items feel luxe and most of my orders were sent within days unlike 2 to 3 weeks as has been frequently the case elsewhere. Customer service comes through and I like the way they reach out and try to keep members in the loop about how the website and service is being upgraded. Gilt, at the moment, is the bar setter. [click here to sign up using my invite]
Unboxing Gilt...
Gilt is rather consistent with their packaging... black tissue paper, black enclosure cards and sometimes, like in this case, delicious graphics inside the box that begs for recycling. Also making an appearance in the unboxing shots is my latest favorite... a Spring 2009 Hypernova scarf by designer Risto Bimbiloski. His depictions of nature has made him a beloved designer of mine.
Another point I wanted to mention about Gilt has been their recent work with various charitable causes. In many cases they have been the only online venue for limited edition items benefiting charity. This has included the Versace Art Unite tote bags, the CFDA's Fashion Night Out collections along with established brands like FEEDBAG and TOMS shoes. This is something I hope Gilt will broaden and expand in the near future!
A little update... Sadly I must add (in 2012) that Gilt is no longer the same company I initially wrote about here. 85% of my recent orders (in 2011), including many picked from their gift department, were badly damaged and very obviously used and returned only to be sold again (the most recent a fragrance 1/3 used!). Many were tossed in a plain box with zero packing of any sort. Non could ever be given as gifts. A real shame as Gilt was once a favorite place to shop but now can not be recommended aside from their charitable offerings.
Looking For Other Sites Like Gilt Group? If you're looking for a similar members and invitation only experience like Gilt, be sure to join my other favorites by checking out Sample Sales invitations @ Gave That.
La Belle et la Bête (1946)with Josette Day and Jean Marais. Filled with imperfection yet it has a way of burrowing itself deep into your mind. Once you've seen it, you'll never forget it.
Expanding on past advice such as How Not To Spend The Holidays Alone I wanted to share a favorite way to escape Valentines Day doldrums's. First, I want to beg the question why wait for someone to invite you out? If you're dating life has been—let's say rather dry as of late— what really are the chances a VDay date is going to magically materialize? Pretty slim. Not only this but first dates on VDay are rather frowned upon by experts as there is simply too much pressure and chance for disappointment.
So instead why not be the instigator? Why not create a no pressure environment to meet new people and celebrate all things romantic? The formula... a Valentines Day (or night) Movie Mixer. The theme is romantic movies of course and the only fee for attending is each person has to bring a friend with them (or a pillow case filled with chocolate). This is how the mixing starts. Best of all since you will be showing movies at your party you're not forcing guests to make endless conversation. Something that can really take the edge off if you or your friends are shy.
As I was pondering a list of some of my favorite movies to show to a general audience it dawned on me that they were all old, somewhat obscure and French. How odd but this in itself could help with party decorations, what sort of favors to hand out and nosh to serve. For my very own VDay cinéma feature I would screen along with La Belle et la Bête these two films:
Le Roi de Cœur (1966)with Geneviève Bujold who looks just like Leigh Lezark of the Misshapes. This movie is bizarre and the music score can get to you after a while but, unless you or your guests have already seen it, you simply will not know what will come next. The ending is plum too.
Misérables, Les (1958)with Jean Gabin. There are of course many versions of this epic tale but this one is my favorite and is also rather long with the director trying to be faithful to the book. Jean Gabin is superb and you honestly feel for him and his struggles for redemption.
Nosh: Well this will of course be completely up to you but I could see a nice spread of candy colored French macaroons, pink popcorn, cupcakes, chocolate beer and Sofia champagne. Cherry 7 Up would work as well.
Seating: Have plenty of pillows, soft blankets, quilts for people to pull over themselves. Make it comfortable, cozy and informal so guests will feel more at ease with one another.
Intermission: Have small breaks, especially with the longer films so people can grab more snacks, interact with one another a bit and give their legs a stretch.
Background Music: Why Édith Piaf of course, old French films deserve only the best. What ever you pick for your party make sure it allows people to talk over it and mingle.
* Budget Tips: To keep costs down rent your movies for free from your local library and ask gusts to bring something like a few drinks or chocolate.
Why wait for someone to entertain us or make our VDay special? Let's take things into our own hands and hearts. That's when the fun really starts in life.
Have any of you seen any of the the movies above? Do you have a favorite film line up for your own party? Please share by leaving a comment.
Over the past few weeks our readers have had a burning question... what do you do when a friend or loved one returns a seemingly unwanted gift you gave them?
In many cases this is one of those life situations that can cause an emotional roller coaster. As I've mentioned in one of my first posts here the act of giving can be incredibly deep and meaningful to the giver. When this passing of care, love, and intimate feelings are interrupted in some way a great deal of hurt can follow. Hurt that can be greatly squelched if only the question of why was answered. The problem is many people returning gifts are afraid of a confrontation or to hurt you any further and will try to be as vague as possible. The good thing is you can find closure in some of the most common reasons why a gift has been returned below. First, how should you handle the situation when it first happens?
What to do when a person returns a gift? Etiquette tomes all say the same thing, there is only one thing to do when someone says no thank you and that's to accept its return without confrontation or making any sort of a grand ballyhoo. Your emotions may rise and you might even be slightly shocked or put off. Try to keep all of this in check and accept the item back with grace.
In a calm tone you can also ask why your friend is giving the item back? If the reason is something you feel is a misunderstanding you can gently ask them to please reconsider taking it. If they still refuse that should be the end of it. Keep a stiff upper lip, say OK and move on. I like to think gift giving is, not about you or me, it's about them! They might be setting healthy boundaries which are deeply personal to them.
For more on healthy boundaries, including gifts, watch online this video by one of my favorite YouTuber's holistic psychotherapist Victoria Lorient-Faibish.
“Affirmation: “My gift recipients have the freedom to do whatever they want with my gifts (my attention, help, etc.)—since it is now theirs.” It is OK for them to reject the gifts and you can still feel good because you gave in the spirit of true unconditional, non-demanding love.”
—
Tom G. Stevens
Why They Might Have Returned Your Gift While each situation is unique the factors causing a person to return a gift usually are not. The person returning your gift might be trying to send you a message or they might actually be acting in your better interest. The latter of which could be one of the best and most meaningful gifts to receive. That's why it's important not to jump to conclusions or take anything too personal initially. Especially if we're talking about an established relationship of many years.
So what are the common reasons people decline gifts? Here is what I've found:
They simply do not like it. Yes, this has to be one of the few reasons that isn't very socially sound or high on the etiquette list. Still it's a valid reason and it can be common among close friends who frequently swap gifts anyway. What can be hurtful is when a person you do not know well returns a gift with a frank, I hate thisor This is so ugly why did you gift me this? comment to go along with it. This sheds a lot of light on the individual you're dealing with and what their level of gratitude and entitlement is (for more on what should have been done, read this by Emily Post). Accept the gift back graciously and think twice about giving anything else to this particular person in the future.
The gift didn't fit. This again is very common among close friends and relatives. Things happen! This is also another good reason to read our The Top Gifts Your Shouldn't Give article which helps guide you through avoiding particularly tricky gifts that might not go over very well. If you're gift didn't come with a gift receipt the person might feel it better to give the gift back to you instead of re-gifting it or trying to sell it.
They already have one. Great minds think alike and someone else might have beat you to the pass. In most cases the person returning the gift will let you know flat out that your gift is a duplicate. Take it back and either use it yourself or try to get your money back. One nice thing about the latter is you can use the refund to purchase another gift and try again.
They're Just Not That Into You. Quoting the hilarious and often times true book by Greg Behrendt, this is an area where very special attention should be paid. If you're giving a gift to someone because you have obvious romantic feelings you're trying to convey (good for you!) and the person returns the gift it should be clear that they're not interested. Do not take this personally and even better, consider yourself as having very good taste. This person is being honest with their feelings and you not to mention very chivalrous. There are a lot of people out there today who are not and look to use and exploit peoples feelings any chance they get for their own personal gain. Move on and keep trying with others you find interesting!
Another thing to think about when it comes to romantic gifts is that a person might be interested in learning more about you but feel it's too early in the relationship for gifts just yet. They also might feel you're trying to buy their affection (which never works by the way!). If you think this is the case save the gift and give it later, if you can, once the relationship has progressed.
They feel like you're trying to buy their time or friendship. As mentioned above some people have had run ins with people who thought the only way to a relationship was through gifts and trying to buy another persons time. In many cases these people trying to buy others can act hurtfully or inappropriately and then, in an attempt, to cover or smooth the situation shower the person with gifts. This becomes a vicious and damaging cycle in the relationship. In most cases, people who have experienced this behavior in their life will now be very leery of excepting any gifts from people they do not know well. They also do not want confrontation and will avoid it at all costs.
"If you haven't come to fully accept yourself with both light and dark facets and feelings, how can you possibly like and respect yourself? This issue sets you up for having to buyanother's love with gifts, gestures and behaviors that consistently place another's desires and needs before your own." -Shari Schreiber, M.A.
Accept the return gracefully and if you value the relationship, keep it going until the person sees you as a good, trustworthy person who is giving gifts out of generosity and true care. As with many things lasting friendships can take time to materialize and that's OK because it builds perspective and meaning.
Watch holistic psychotherapist Victoria Lorient-Faibish talk about The Pattern of Control Through Generosity:
The gift can be seen as inappropriate. This is one avenue that can go in many directions. One of the most glaring is giving gifts privately to subordinates at work. If someone, especially women, feel their boss is giving them personal gifts the right thing to do is always to return them. Some companies also have value caps where expensive gifts are simply not allowed. In these hard economic times no one wants to jeopardize their job or position. One also has to think about married individuals accepting gifts from the opposite sex. Especially if the gift giver is single. This can make people feel uncomfortable and their wishes should be respected.
The relationship fails to warrant such a gift. Lately I've noticed many people coming to this page because they want to return a thank you gift specifically. The reason is possibly explained in this insightful WSJ article by Melinda Beck:
"It's possible, of course, to over-do expressions of gratitude, particularly if you try to show it with a gift. "Thanking someone in such a way that is disproportionate to the relationship—say, a student giving her teacher an iPod—will create resentment, guilt, anger and a sense of obligation," says Dr. Froh.
"Gratitude can also be misused to exert control over the receiver and enforce loyalty. Dr. Froh says you can avoid this by being empathic toward the person you are thanking—and by honestly assessing your motivations." (also see the video above by Victoria Lorient-Faibish as she speaks more about this as well). Read the entire article here.
“Never give anyone more than they are emotionally capable of receiving, or they will have no choice but to hate you for it.”
They feel you're trying to reform them. Some gifts can have the unintended (or intended) effect of trying to tell someone something about themselves. For instance exercise DVD's for someone who the gift giver thinks is out of shape or self help books for someone who is single. Giving such gifts out of the blue and without any evidence that the gift recipient has been wanting such things can sadly turn the person off. When shopping for gifts it's always good to think about what message your present will carry. Will it say I love you or I care about you as you are?
They want to live a minimalist lifestyle. I've noticed a growing movement to remove what some deem clutter from their lives or they could be someone grappling with hoarding tendencies. This is usually rather obvious by minimalist decor or a general lack of interest in acquiring new things on a regular basis (another example of why getting to know people well prior to giving physical gifts is important).
For many minimalists, people in general and those deemed as already having everything experts are suggesting more and more to give gifts that are experiences. Italian Vogue editor Franca Sozzani writes, "Everyday I receive a large quantity of bags. I don't use bags. If you stopped to think about it even for one second you could come up with a new idea, a different one." and then mentions, "Choosing a book, dedicating it, is more personal, less expensive and it stays with you forever." along with a pack of movie tickets, a gift membership to a museum, spa treatments, a trip. Read the entire article here, it's eye opening.
They feel you've put yourself out/over extended yourself. In our current economic climate this is a very common reason to consider. One that might show incredible care in the person who has returned your gift. Even though it might not feel like that at the time, your friend might have a clearer perspective on the situation and wants to save you heartache in the future due to a loss of income or mounting bills.
In some cases people are so enamored with someone else and so interested in filling a perceived need that they will overextend themselves and give a gift they really cannot afford. If a true friend catches on to this they might feel compelled to give the gift back to you. In some cases your gift could have been acquired at a real bargain or is a possession you have long had. It could have even been a past gift. In such cases you can try and explain and re-give the gift but if they're adamant about not taking it, accept it back and move on from there. If you have a true friendship with this person there will be time enough to give other gifts.
One other thing to consider is the power of being positive in both your thinking and speech. People will often feel guilty if they received a gift from a person, especially an expensive one, and then later on hear over and over again how this person has no money or is so bad off. Once this becomes a persons MO few will want to accept gifts from them of any kind. No one who cares wants to feel like the cause of someones unhappiness and/or possible downfall. Once again, when feeling the need to share negative or unhappy news make it to someone who can really help. Broadcasting it to everyone rarely helps to get anything accomplished and can actually drive what a person needs the most to cope with life away... friends!
I like to ponder the many gifts that can be given that are hard for others to refuse such as: giving a compliment, holding the door for someone, being supportive, kind and compassionate. For more see my post Simple Gifts to Give. Happy giving!
"The gifts of caring, attention, affection, appreciation, and love are some of the most precious gifts you can give, and they don’t cost you anything” —Deepak Chopra
For anyone having a hard time dealing with rejection, depressive feelings, hopelessness call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to speak to a real person.
PS... want to see quite possibly the ultimate returned gift? Click here for one I found in Return To Sender.
Thank you everyone who has shared their personal stories with us all! Do you have a reason or story as to why you felt compelled to decline a gift? Have you had a gift returned to you? Please share by leaving a comment about your experiences.
( This is article part 1 of 2, part 2 looks at how and why to return a gift with care.)
Why give once when you can give twice with these great gift finds that have the added benefit of giving back to great causes...
Organic Bouquet has created the Freedom Rose bouquet in time for VDay. A dozen roses wrapped in inspiration of Rosa Parks with a portion of the proceeds going to the Rosa & Raymond Parks Institute of Self Development. $59.95.
QVC has created a line called, Charms for Charity designed by a number of designers including Simona Collini, Mary Margrill, Nolan Miller and many more. QVC will donate 10% from the sales to the three children's organizations: Alex's Lemonade Stand, Big Brothers Big Sisters, and Jewelers for Children. Around $20. to $200.
Fred Flare has created a number of Valentines Day Cards called, SNAIL MAIL valentines for charity with 100% of the proceeds from the sale of these cards benefit Elder Craftsmen, a rad NYC-based organization that brings craft programs to seniors. Talk about super sweet! $4 for surprise assortment.
Loop handbags has partnered with Whatever It Takes and a number of celebrities and designers to create tote bags with a portion of the proceeds going to the artists fund of choice. These bags are very well constructed and there are a ton of designs and charities to choose from. About $30 to $49. Gave That gives a major thumbs up!
Payless Shoe Stores has a "I Believe" Black History Month Necklace with 100% of net profits going to the National Urban League with a minimum guaranteed donation of $35,000. $4. each.
The House of Style (love this blog!) clued me into the six-scents.com project that teams designers and perfumers together to create a plum gift with proceeds donated to charity.
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